What Matters?

In the end,
When everything fades,
And there's nothing but the light,
Will any of this matter?

In the end,
When everything else vanishes,
And you go to meet your judgement,
What will really matter?

Not your money,
Not your beauty,
Not your job,
Not your possessions ,
Not how popular you were,
Not how many friends you had.

When you reach your judgement
God doesn't care about earthly things,
But rather your heavenly treasures

He cares whether you lived for Him
Whether you were a light
Whether you loved His people
Whether you accepted the gift of His son's life

So what really matters in this life?

Is it your money?
Your beauty?
Your job?
Your possessions?
Popularity?
Friends?

No
It's not what you have in life
But rather how you live your life

Racing to You

Running
As fast as I can
Breathless
As my legs carry me through the darkness
Faster

Staring
But my eyes do not see
Searching
But I cannot find you in the darkness
Looking

Walls

Closing in on me in the darkness

Suffocating

And then my adrenaline can no longer ignore the pain

Blackness

And then you're there
A perfect picture in my mind
Whispering sweet words in my ear
And for now,
I can stop running, searching, suffocating
For now,
I am safe

In A World of Darkness

I stare up at the black sky
Hoping to see just one star,
Just one twinkle of light in a panorama of darkness,
Just one small reminder of what I miss so dearly.

Studying the hopeless sky,
Praying to the heavens
To show a glimmer truth,
To show a spark of hope.

I cry out for proof of good
For the world has turned evil;
I call out for peace and joy,
But most of all, I cry out for love.

I weep as the sky remains starless,
The world remains heartless.
We don't notice that we live in darkness;
We continue to harm each other.

And these tears stain my cheeks
For the sky is too great to change for one small girl
The world is too stubborn to listen to one hurting child
We'll all act the same until we get what they we really need:
LOVE




I know that I have posted this poem before, but I made these revisions to it and entered it in a contest and it's going to be published in a book! So I had to repost it with the revisions and the good news.

In The South 1852 (School Project)

From the viewpoint of a white girl...
The dark girls call my house ''The Big House". They tell me I'm lucky to live here. I have dolls and baby carriages. I have plenty of food and water and sweet treats when I ask politely, but I have no friends. Mommy won't let me play with the dark girls, she gets mad when I even talk to them. She tells me they're uncivilized, then makes me sit and cross-stitch or play the piano, then sends me up to me room to play dolls by myself. I've seen them outside my window: running and laughing together with their friends, and yet, they call me lucky.


From the viewpoint of a slave...
All day and sometimes part of the night, we toil in the fields working, plowing, and picking, endlessly. Everyday we rise before the sun to be met by the whip, each forced to work harder than 2 white folk could possibly manage, punished harshly if we cannot. Scars write the story across my back. My story of tears, of pain, of wickedness and prejudice, my story of imprisonment, of back-breaking labor, of hard times and troubles. My scars tell the story of slavery.

Stop the Sun (School Project)

Nothing but blackness,
Darkness surrounding me.
My eyes portraying the world as empty,
My ears painfully assuring otherwise
When the sounds of gunfire shatters the silence.
Screams break free as mortars strike;
Chaos increases to a point of climax,
Then dies down to lifeless, fatal silence.

They're coming for me;
When the night vanishes, surely they will arrive.
The sun must not rise;
The sun must not come up;
I must keep dawn from coming
Only then will I be safe, only then will I survive

But as always, it came,
Beginning with a faint gray,
Turning to a gentle glow of despair
They were there
And although they didn't harm my body,
I died all the same...
We couldn't do it,
We failed to stop the sun.

(This is a poem about the Veitnam war. I got the idea from a story called Stop the Sun that we read at school, and so I wrote it for extra credit because I liked the details in the story and it made me feel like writing about it)

Here In This Place (School Project)

I'm here in this place,
Alienated and alone,
Forced to forget my life I once cherished
It was them,
The white people took me here, they took us all here.
They don't care about us.
They beat us, humiliate us, and then watch us cry.
Our tears don't concern them;
They have hearts made of ice.

I'm here in this place,
I've been misused and mistreated.
I've seen people runaway and pass away.
There's illness and cruelty.
I've seen a lot,
But the one thing I haven't seen is love.

We're here in this place,
But we cry out for another;
Our souls long for ny place but here.
Where can we go where we will not remember?
Is there a place that we will not be haunted?
No, these scars will never fade away
Nor the memories wane
We shall be chased by this place forever


(This is a poem I wrote on the cruelty in Indian boarding schools since we read about it in class)

Thanksgiving 1943 (School Project)

Thanksgiving was always a bitter reminder of how little she actually had to be thankful for. It'd been five years to the day since her husband had been killed in the war. All she had left to remember him by was his old tattered coat. All the pictures, his old clothes, and the precious memories of the little time they'd had together burned with the house, all ashes now.

Like the last four thanksgivings, she spent this one sitting alone in the rubble of the house they once shared. On her plate she had a single roll, which was to be the best meal she'd tasted in a long time, so for her meal, she is thankful. She bows her head and folds her hands to pray.

"Dear God, Thanks for the meal which I am about to recieve, and for keeping me safe, healthy, and alive. Lord, I know haven't much, but thanks for all Your blessing You have bestowed upon me today and in past severalyears. I know You have reasons for everything we go through, help me to see Your reasoning and praise You for it. In Your name I pray, Amen!"

Falling

Falling, falling

Over and over again
Trapped in this plummeting motion

Just to quickly, fatally hit rock bottom,

Then to just start falling again

Before I even stand back up

Before my wounds even heal.

It's like I hope they'll heal faster

If i don't have to lie on the ground calling out in pain

How I wish I could stay in mid air,
Or fall without crashing into Earth.

Or even if I could just use a parachute,

To soften my landing just a little.

Or, just to stay grounded,

Even if I never got to fly again in my life,

It would be better than taking another fall, just to realize there's no one to help me up this time.

Escape

Pain, tears, broken hearts
What was happening?
Life never used to be like this
But as life goes on
The world grows colder

Love, joy, peace
The life she once knew
Seems to slip farther and farther away
She’s almost lost all memory of those days
All memory of happiness

But when she dreams,
She can remember
When she dreams,
She can smile
When she dreams,
Everything she once knew is back
And she hugs her mom,
Tells her dad that she loves him
And they gently kiss her cheeks
When she dreams,
She escapes from depression
She escapes from the horrors of this world
She escapes from her life as it is

Pain, tears, broken hearts
All these disappear when she dreams

Me in Ten Years

Ten years from now,
I will be driving my 1970 Mustang down the streets
Of hot and busy Los Angeles, California
On my way to work as a lawyer
To make my money

Ten years from now
I will be living in my pent house apartment
I will reside with my amazing husband and chubby cat
Sufficiently happy, but dreaming of one day
When I will move to the country
So that I can raise kids in a safer environment
With a lot of land, dogs, and a horse

Ten years from now
I will be totally enjoying being on my own,
And just a total lover of life itself,
But I will miss all my friends and family back here in Washington
And the freedom of less work and less worry

Ten years from now,
I will stay laidback
And will not let money and other earthly possessions
Overrun my mind and take over my thoughts
I will still keep my main focus on Jesus
Hopefully helping at youth group at my church
Or teaching a Sunday school class

In ten years,
Though having a different last name
I will still be Rokkii
A Smiling, energetic, crazy, and faithful Christ follower
But not just in ten years,
But ‘till the day forever ends

My Life

Don't go telling me I have no rhythm
I dance to my own music
Playing in my head

No, don't say I've got the words wrong
I sing my own songs
About how I feel

You know, I'm sick and tired of you
Tired of your trashy talk
I wear what I want on my catwalk

I'm me
So that's who I'll be
I don't need you tellin' me how to beat my drums

You do it your way
I'll do it mine
I don't have the chords wrong if that's how I write 'em

I'll keep away from you
If that's what you want
'Cause now it's plain as day
We'll never get along

I got my beat
You got yours
They don't mix
And that's just how it goes

Lost You

When did all the sweet things you'd say to me
Turn into ancient history?
When did all of our lost love notes turn yellow?
Why are we living the way we do?

And now that I let you go
I want you back more than I ever wanted you before
I guess it's true that you don't know what you got 'till it's gone
But, 'till now, I didn't notice I lost you

I'm sorry I ever let it go this far
But now I want nothing more than to spend one last second in your arms
When you care about me
And you're not just going through the motion 'cause that's how it's always been

But nothing is how it was anymore
If only I knew when I lost you
I would go back to that day and start all over
This time doing everything better
'Cause I wouldn't dare lose you again

Starless Night

Here without you
I'm dying inside
I miss everything about you
I'm all alone tonight

Couldn't get out of bed this morning
Wishing you were here
So I layed there in silence
My face soaked with tears
But I know I'm not the only one
The sky cried too
And now the stars won't shine tonight
Cuz they only shine for you

I wish I could be with you
Every moment of every day
And never have to leave you
But things don't work that way

You're all I can think about now
I wish you were still here
But you're gone, and that's what kills me
As my eyes fill up with tears
I know I'm not the only one
'Cause the sky cries too
And now the stars won't shine at night
'Cause they only shined for you

Not Worth It

When you said goodbye
I know you thought I'd be sad
You thought I'd break down and cry
You thought I'd be mad
You thought I'd hate you
I might even seek revenge
But I didn't cry
And I'm not angry
I'm still smiling
I'm still singing
So now your wondering why...

Well, let me tell you this:
I've been through some hard times
I know what it's like to cry 'till my tears run out
I know how it feels to waste my time with anger
It's hard, and it's hurts
And you weren't worth the struggle
You weren't worth the pain
Not to me, you weren't

Before you left me
I saw you were changing
And there was nothing I could do
Any slight feeling I had for you
You took with you
If I were to hate you,
It'd be a waste of emotion
Hatred would hurt me without affecting you
Hatred would eat me up, and kill me inside
Hatred is just as much of a feeling as love
And having any feeling for you would be pointless
You're not worth it
Not to me, you aren't

So, now you know,
You weren't worth my tears
You aren't worth my ire
You mean little more to me than a stranger
In fact, this will be last time I think of you
There's a change in the wind
Soon, my life will be so much more than it could have been with you in it
My thoughts will be too occupied
So this is the last goodbye
'Cause tomorrow is a new day
I have other things to ponder
And worrying about you would ruin that
And you're just not worth it
Not to me

As We Stand

Intro:
Amazing Grace,
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see

Prechorus:
And Lord, I love you
I give you my life

Chorus:
And as I stand here
And lift up my hands
The spirit of God
Has met me in this place

And I stand here
Calling out His name
Praising His endless love
As He holds me in His arms
I stand here

Verse:
And you’ll never know a greater power than His
That He gives us all we have
And just as easy He could take it back
You’ll never know a love as great as His
That He lay down His life
For those He created

Prechorus:
And Lord, I love you
I give you my life

Chorus:
And as we stand here
And we lift up our hands
The spirit of God
Has met us in this place

And we stand here
Calling out His name
Praising His endless love
As He holds us in His hands
We stand here

Bridge:
Lord, I want to thank you
For teaching me to love
For helping me forgive
For making me hope

Lord, I will follow you forever
I know you are the Way
You’ve showed me the Truth
And given me new life

Prechorus:
And Lord, I love you
I give you my life

Chorus:
And as we stand here
And we lift up our hands
The spirit of God
Has met us in this place

And we stand here
Calling out His name
Praising His endless love
As He holds us in His hands
We stand here

The Battle

So dead inside
She feels dead to the world

No one can help

Though time and time again we've tried

She walks through life

With no smile on her face

As it's cast downwards

Staring at her feet.

Her arms bare the bitter truth
Of her painful reminders to herself

That she is in fact alive

Although she may wish she wasn't

But she doesn't hear us
To her, we are just as alive as she feels

We are not even a part of her anymore

She blocked us out as the demons took over

And who are we???

We are her guardian angels

However, in this case, falling short of our title

But striving evermore to live up to it

Under our protection

This young angel of the earth

Has fallen into mass destruction

Brought upon her by the devil's hand

But we strive to help her see

That she can be delivered from her sorrow

If only she would pray for forgiveness

And pray for His help

But, like I said, we are dead to her
She is dead inside

And the devil has her by the throat

Weakening her every second

So we are asking you

To pray for her too

With enough prayers said

God may rid the devil's hand from her throat

With enough prayers said

She may finally see His love

She may finally realize

Her life was payed for by His blood

So pray, not just for her

But for the world

They all need Him

Yet so many are being choked by the devil

*****53***Stars*****

Laying in the dark,

A small smile on my face,

I stare up at the glimmering stars

Knowing that somewhere else, you too are staring up at the some ones.

Face turned to the window,

I count the stars once more.

Fifty-three, the same number of days since I last saw your gorgeous smile.

Fifty-three, the same number of tear-filled nights since the sky had last unvielled its hidden comfort.

Like the past fifty- three nights before this,

I feel the deep pain of tears behind my eyes, down through my throat,

But tonight it different

Because tonight I will not let tears blur my vision of the stars.

Fifty-three stars, fifty-three chances for me to wish you back to me.

Fifty-three stars, fifty-three chances for me to wish that I could have seen you just one last time before I let you go.

Fifty-three stars, fifty-three chances for me to wish that I had known then what I know now.

Fifty-three stars upon which I can wish, fifty-three stars that would let me down.

It wouldn't matter if there were a billion stars lighting up the sky;

You'd still be gone,

I still wouldn't have known fifty-four days ago how I'd feel tonight,

How I've felt for the past fifty-three days. and for all the days to follow

To wish upon the stars would leave me hurting,

So instead, I just look at each one thinking of your twinkling eyes.

Fifty-three stars, the same number of times I whisper "I miss you," each day hoping that somehow you'll hear.

Fifty-three stars, the same number of lifetimes it would take me to give up on you.

Maybe not tomorrow, and probably not next week,

But someday I will have more hope.

Someday I might get my second chance;

Someday, there might be 54 stars...